Top 10 Jokes
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a golfer who doesn’t have any balls?
A caddy.
Why do golf clubs never go out of style?
They always make a fairway statement.
How do you beat a golfer at shopping?
Buy in fewer strokes.
What do you call a golfer who always brings an extra pair of socks?
Prepared for anything.
What do you call a golfer who just made an eagle?
An endangered species.
What do you call a golfer without a caddy?
Self-served.
What do you call an old golf club?
Vintage woods.
Why do golf balls have dimples?
Because they'd be too shy to go out in public otherwise.
Classic One-Liners
What do you call a golfer who always brings an extra pair of pants?
Prepared.
What do you call a golfer who always brings an extra pair of socks?
Prepared for anything.
What do you call a golfer who doesn’t have any balls?
A caddy.
What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why did the golfer bring a spare pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
Because he thought he might get a hole in one!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of shoes?
In case he steps in a hole.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why did the golfer wear a belt?
To hold up his pants.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
Equipment & Attire
How do you beat a golfer at shopping?
Buy in fewer strokes.
What do you call a scratch golfer’s irons?
Well seasoned.
What do you call an old golf club?
Vintage woods.
What do you get if you cross a golfer with a pair of pants?
Hole-in-one jeans.
What’s a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The swing.
What’s the best club to use in a storm?
A lightning iron.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
He heard there was a chance he'd get a new course record.
Why do golf bags look worried?
They know they'll be carried through a lot of tough courses.
Why do golf balls have dimples?
Because they'd be too shy to go out in public otherwise.
Why do golf clubs never go out of style?
They always make a fairway statement.
Golfers' Traits
How can you tell a bad golfer?
He washes his balls more than he hits them.
What do you call a golfer who just lost his ball?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a golfer with a bad temper?
A club thrower.
What do you call a golfer without a caddy?
Self-served.
What’s a golfer’s favorite workout?
Cart-pushing.
What’s a golfer’s least favorite movie genre?
Missed adventures.
Why do golfers always carry a book?
For when they hit a bad lie.
Why do golfers bring a second pair of shorts?
In case they get an eagle.
Why do golfers hate cake?
They struggle with slices.
Why do golfers have two pairs of shoes?
In case they get a bogey.
On the Course
How do you describe a golfer who scores a birdie on a par 5?
A rare breed.
What did the golfer do with his broken golf cart?
He drove himself crazy.
What do you call a golfer who just made an eagle?
An endangered species.
What’s a golfer’s least favorite type of music?
Heavy metal – it's too hard to swing to.
What’s the worst part of golfing with a new player?
Trying to explain why your score is so high.
Why are bad golf shots like poor handwriting?
They're hard to read and easy to repeat.
Why are golfers good at solving puzzles?
They know how to read the greens.
Why did the golfer carry a spare shirt?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why don’t golfers ever hide?
Because they are always in plain sight.
Why is it so hard to play golf in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.
Pro Golfer Antics
How do pro golfers relax?
By putting their feet up.
How do pro golfers stay so fit?
They avoid the course meal.
What do pro golfers do when they retire?
They stay the course.
What do you call a pro golfer at the beach?
Sand trap expert.
What do you call a pro golfer on a hot streak?
On fire and under par.
What’s a pro golfer’s favorite type of party?
Tee parties.
Why are pro golfers never lost?
They know where the green is.
Why do pro golfers carry a driver?
Because they can't afford to walk.
Why do pro golfers have big houses?
They need space for all those trophies.
Why do pro golfers love windy days?
They get more drives.
Weather Woes
How can you tell if it’s too windy to golf?
If your ball comes back to you.
How do you know a golfer is cold?
When they're shivering in their cleats.
What do golfers hate most about spring?
The rain checks.
What do golfers use to stay dry?
Fair-weather friends.
What’s a golfer’s biggest challenge on a windy day?
Keeping his scorecard.
What’s a golfer’s least favorite weather?
When it rains on their tee-time.
When is the best time for a golfer to make a weather complaint?
When it's fairway.
Why did the golfer take a boat to the course?
He heard about the water hazards.
Why do golfers prefer sunny days?
They play best under par-fect conditions.
Why don’t golfers play in thunderstorms?
It's shocking when they try to hit the greens.